


Hit Me With Your Best Shot

by misura



Category: Odyssey 5
Genre: Community: smallfandomfest, M/M, Moving In Together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-05
Updated: 2015-06-05
Packaged: 2018-04-03 00:49:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4080202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt gestured vaguely. "You're here, you're entirely welcome, you can help yourself to anything in the fridge and you're sleeping on the couch. Any other questions?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hit Me With Your Best Shot

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MeganMoonlight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeganMoonlight/gifts).



Neil wasn't entirely clear on when, exactly, he had become an irresponsible teenager instead of a valuable, technical savvy ally who'd made considerable contributions to their mission several times.

"Dad. I'm _twenty-three_. Don't you think that's a little bit old to be requiring a baby-sitter?" Neil glanced at Kurt. "No offense."

"Oh, none taken," Kurt said, a lot more cheerfully than Neil'd have expected him to, considering.

"Twenty-three? _Twenty-three_?" Maybe Kurt was confident that somehow, Neil was going to win this one. Tempting, to think Kurt knew something Neil didn't. "How the fuck do you reckon you're _twenty-three_ , son?"

Neil shrugged. "Simple maths. I mean - "

"You know what, never mind." And _that_ was just so typical ... Dad. "I'm going out of town, and you're staying with Kurt. End of discussion."

"Why - " Neil started, because end of discussion his ass.

"Because last time I was gone for a few days, when I came back the place looked like a fucking pig's sty, that's why. Now, can we move on to something that's actually important?"

Neil shot a _can you believe my dad?_ look at Kurt, who smiled back in a way that Neil chose to believe meant _I feel your pain, man, but what can you do, huh?_.

 

"Well, welcome to my humble abode and all that." Kurt gestured expansively. " _Mi casa es su casa,_ except not really so please try not to break anything or get hooked on any drugs for the next couple of days. Or ever, I suppose. Once was more than enough."

Neil grimaced and managed not to snap that really? Not his fault - and nowhere near as monumentally stupid as getting married to some girl just because she was going to be a big star one day.

"Sorry," Kurt said, before Neil could mumble something about how he was glad to be here. "That was a bit uncalled for, wasn't it?"

"A bit, yeah." Neil'd brought some books, but his computer was still at home, which sucked.

"Just ... make yourself at home. There's food in the fridge. Many kinds."

"Yeah, I know what you call food," Neil said. Not pizza, for one. Probably wasn't going to be any pudding in there, either, although there might be beer.

Kurt shrugged. "Nothing wrong with sampling a bit of foreign _cuisine_ every once in a while. Or, say, vegetables."

"I eat vegetables," Neil said, stung. Astronauts needed to watch their diets.

"Good," Kurt said, either truly oblivious or merely pretending to be. "Perhaps I might convince you to try a few new ones, while you're here. I promise you, they're all edible and very good for you."

Neil considered bringing up the topic of his age again, then decided to let it go. Like it or not, he'd be living here for at least three days; no sense in starting things off with an argument.

The way he saw it, he played his cards right, he might get to drive a Ferrari. Not as good as a Harley, and lightyears away from going into space, but still pretty cool.

"I'm sure. So where do I sleep?"

Kurt blinked once, as if this should have been obvious. "The couch. Naturally."

"Thought you might let me have the bed," Neil said, even if the thought of sleeping in Kurt's bed made him feel ... weird. In a sort of good way. (All right, so the right word was probably 'horny', but sheesh. Way to demonstrate how mature and grown-up he was.) "You know, being your guest and all."

"Well, maybe if I'd actually _invited_ you," Kurt said.

"You didn't want me here, you should've said so."

"That'd be putting it a little strongly now, wouldn't it?" Kurt gestured vaguely. "Want, not want. You're here, you're entirely welcome, you can help yourself to anything in the fridge and you're sleeping on the couch. Any other questions?"

"Nope, I think that pretty much covers it," Neil said, and then, because Mom'd raised him to be polite, "Thanks for letting me stay here."

"No problem at all."

 

That last bit, as it turned out, wasn't entirely true.

As far as couches went, Kurt's was probably top of the line, both in comfort and in quality - although really, Neil kind of felt like it should go without saying that a _good_ couch should also be a _comfortable_ couch. (Given the taste of some of Kurt's high-quality, _haute cuisine_ food, though, he might be wrong about that.)

Kurt had provided him with plenty of blankets, several pillows and directions to where Neil might find 'a bit of light bed-time reading', by which Neil figured he'd meant porn.

Neil was pretty sure he didn't want to check out Kurt's porn.

Sure, it'd probably be good stuff - like the couch and the food. It was just that, well, it was _porn_. It'd be like, well, like slipping a porn magazine into his bag when he was going to spend the night at Holly's. It'd feel icky and dirty and just plain wrong.

 

"Not a morning person, I take it?" Kurt was, clearly, although Neil darkly suspected the coffee had helped. Plus, Kurt probably hadn't been staring at the ceiling all night, thinking.

"Just need some coffee."

Kurt waved in the direction of the coffee machine, which, fine. It wasn't as if Neil had come here expecting room service or anything.

There wasn't any Cap'n Crunch (or milk, for that matter) but there was something vaguely apple-shaped which Kurt assured him was a fruit and very healthy, so Neil figured it'd have to do.

 

School was same old, same old - Neil didn't _quite_ get through the day cruising on auto-pilot, sadly, but it was a close thing. (Turned out, you forgot a lot of stuff. Most of it useless, but try explaining that to your teachers.)

He got back to Kurt's apartment just in time for dinner, which consisted of a whopping four courses.

"Should I be feeling flattered?" The soup was okay - or, well, okay, the soup was icky, but the bread was awesome, so Neil figured it averaged at 'okay'. "I mean, seems like you're pulling out all the stops here."

"Oh, hardly," Kurt said, looking pleased and a little bit nervous at the same time.

"You don't cook for your dates?" Neil asked. He'd never cooked for Holly - might've been a nice idea, except that, yeah, at twenty-two, maybe. At seventeen, ordering a pizza was as romantic as it got.

"Well, you're not exactly my date, are you?" Kurt replied. "I mean, perish the thought. Your father'd probably kill me."

As far as reasons not to date someone went, 'your dad would kill me' barely even registered as a blip on the radar. Nonetheless, Neil figured backing off now would probably be a smart move.

"Dad's not some kind of homophobe. So really, I think he'd be cool with it."

Kurt's expression was ... interesting. "Do you, now?"

"And anyway, I'm an adult," Neil said. "I mean, mentally, at least."

"Mentally, yes. There's the rub, isn't it?" Kurt reached for the bread basket. "But of course, this is all strictly hypothetical."

"Yeah," Neil said. "I mean, it's not as if you're interested, is it?" If he ever would have imagined him and Kurt getting together - which, okay, he had, he'd have figured Kurt to be the one to make the first move. He'd seen Kurt around Angela, after all, and Sarah, in the other timeline.

Neil'd figured that if Kurt was interested in anyone, he'd just, well, let them know. No beating around the bush, no pussy-footing around, just straight-up honesty, bordering on perviness.

Discovering that (1) Kurt was actually interested in _him_ , too and that (2) Kurt wasn't nearly as straight-up when going after a guy was kind of ... fun.

"I'm ... not _not_ interested," Kurt said carefully. "Although, really, if this is just about you getting the bed tonight instead of the couch - "

Neil grinned. "Yeah, okay, you got me. That's exactly what this is about."

"Fine," Kurt said. "You can have the bed. _If_ you're willing to share. That's non-negotiable, I'm afraid."

"Hey, I don't mind sharing."

"It's a big bed. Shouldn't be any problem at all. In fact, I don't know why I didn't think to suggest it in the first place."

_Because when it comes to picking up guys, it turns out you're kind of chicken,_ Neil thought, but didn't say out loud. It was cute, and a little hot; he liked it. "Cool."

"We could uh cuddle," Kurt said, almost managing to sound enthusiastic about his own idea.

Neil waited until Kurt had spooned up some soup to say, "Or we could have sex."

He felt a little bit guilty when Kurt choked and turned red, but not too much.

_Oh, this is going to be_ fun _._


End file.
